This blog entry is PG-13...
I've been in the entertainment business for over 15 years and not a lot surprises me anymore. I've seen actors trade sex for roles, I've seen Extras on sets throw themselves at stars and producers, I've been propositioned, pressured into things I didn't want to do, I've tried to find my balance between being too stubborn and too loose, I've been inspired by Hollywood and also so disillusioned with it that I've almost quit altogether... I've seen it all. Or, at least I thought I had...
A few months ago I turned on the Today Show at 8:30 in the morning. At 8:30am I expected to see news, some celebrity interview, maybe time-saving organizational ideas for busy parents and everything else we're used to watching while our brains wake up. That morning the first thing I saw was a weathered young woman with bleached extensions, wearing almost nothing, and singing to a hypnotized audience of men, women and children... CHILDREN. The image was striking enough and then I started trying to make out the lyrics:
"...dirty, free-for-all... (something about) hardcore...They turn me on when they take it off, Everybody take it off!... Lose your clothes in the crowd...we're getting smashed... filthy, hot mess... dirty, free-for-all...Take it off, Take it off, Everybody take it off!"
Meanwhile, onstage antics basically consisted of glitter-covered male models in tiny, gold, spandex briefs and this girl amongst them as they all simulated an orgy. Onstage. At 8:30 in the morning... IN. FRONT. OF. CHILDREN.
I wrote a letter to NBC and to Jim Bell, the executive producer of The Today Show. I emailed the letter to friends and many of them wrote their own and sent them, as well. None of us ever received a response and after keeping an eye out for a few days, there seemed to be no backlash whatsoever... no talk of this in the media... no one calling attention to it... the whole thing went away as quickly as it had started. I couldn't believe it! Was there no one watching, outraged? Were there no parents who had to turn the channel when their 9 year old, eating breakfast before school, said "Mom, what's a free-for-all?" "Dad, what does she want everyone to take off?" Did this surprise NO ONE?? Moreover, who the heck are these parents that not only allowed their kids to remain in the Today Show audience during that performance (probably on the off-chance they might get on TV), but who were literally singing along!?
Have we fallen so far? Have we finally arrived to the place where not only do you need no talent to become a role-model (and yes, I'm sorry but if you're perpetuating a public career, you are famous and young people look up to you), but you don't even need class? I guess I knew we were really headed down the tubes with the introduction of trashy reality tv... but come on! Even The Bachelor tried to pretend it was classy in the beginning. Now we've got drivel like Jersey Shore filling up the airwaves, and stuff that honestly shouldn't even be called music pouring out of the radio and into the minds of America's youth.
Oh, God. Do I sound like Dr. Laura? I mean, seriously... can I just call attention to this without being called "prude" or "religious" or "a conservative nut"? Please? Hasn't everybody had enough? Don't you miss the days when a sexy picture was Julia Roberts laughing her ass off in a white button-down? Now every young starlet is vying for layouts in men's magazines and posing in their panties with their legs wide open. I don't know... I suppose everyone's gauge for "class" is different from the next... and I hate to sound "high and mighty", but I'll risk it if I can lend a voice to any young woman too intimidated by the media to stand up for her value. I just have to ask... Whatever Happened to Class?
This is all so true. This show sounds disgraceful, but sadly it's just one of many. Children are exposed to way too much these days, even just by watching music videos they are exposed to sexual images and the people in these videos are people who children look up to! What kind of image is that promoting to them.
ReplyDeleteAn example is when we we're organsing a simple 'pass the parcel' game for the children at work at christmas and was wrapping the parcel up in newspaper. Nothing hard about this task you would think? Wrong. We had to go through and find pages that didn't have some half naked women or celebrity falling out of a nightclub on it because of corse, totally inappropraite! This task was ALOT harder than you would expect!
Not just that but have you seen some of the clothing for children these days?! SO not suitable! They end up growing up way to fast! and to be honest, it makes me sad.
How far is this going to go?
Thank you so much for this! I have to agree with you. While I love people like Lady Gaga and rue the day that I see her censored or blocked from doing what she wants, there is a time and place, and it isn't morning tv in front of children. While I think it is the parents duty to choose what to expose their children to, the media also have some responsibility to air things at appropriate times. Personally, I was never coddled and my parents didn't try to hide things from me, but I feel I wasn't exposed to anything too early and choose to shelter myself to an extent at nearly 18, I know what goes on, but choose not to take part in it. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way for all people.
ReplyDeleteJoy,
ReplyDeleteIs that a picture of Keri Russell? What a beautifully pure lady she is!
This article is exactly in line with my thinking. In the UK we have The X Factor (which I believe you, in the US, will have to suffer soon). The finale weekend included Christina Aguilera and Strippers performing burlesque moves and Rihanna stripping down to almost nothing for a performance of What's My Name. Both performances were before our 9pm watershed and The X Factor is basically the most watched family programme in the UK. The performances were completely unacceptable for family viewing and should have, themselves, be rated PG-13 and be showed after watershed.
There was no warning for parents to remove their children from the room or, better off, turn off the TV. And my poor Grandad nearly had a heart attack, he couldn't believe what he was seeing, neither could I.
But this is what happens when we have a society that objectifies women. Women then feel like they must become those objects. It's almost a self fulfilling prophesy. Men want us in our undies...so we prance around in our undies. So our kids grow up prancing around in their undies and so on and so forth.
It's unhealthy, it leads to poor self esteem, eating disorders, cosmetic surgery and yet more unhappines. It breaks my heart that it's the generation I'm growing up in and I feel almost powerless to change it. It takes 1000s of people to write letters of complaint before anyone takes notice...and it takes so long for something to be done that the outcome is never relevant. And so people don't bother - another vicious cycle.
It needs a whole generation to stand up and make a change against it...who knows if this one will?
Thanks for another thought provoking and intelligent article.
Jo x
P.S LOVE the Chicago song! Perfect!
Completely agree Bethany! I am 23 years old and I can't walk down the street without seeing young girls (ages 10-16) in less and less clothes, thinking they can get the "right" kind of attention based upon their appearance. You are most definitely not a prude, religious or conservative nut. You are a women who is, like me, up-in-arms with the highly-sexualized society that we seem to be falling into. Thank you very much for bringing instances like the one you saw on NBC to the attention of your followers.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more ... People need to understand that trashy is not classy, trashy only helps you to become popular for a very short amount of time, but class ? It lasts forever. See Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly ... Or, as you said, modern actresses, like Julia Roberts ... Or you, Joy :) They/You portray true beauty, success, even happiness ! You are a real role model, and it's nice to see that you are so down to Earth :) Please, never change ! We love you !
ReplyDeleteAll the best from France !
- Claire.
I totally agree with what you are saying. I don't have kids but I still wouldn't have watched that crap. I am sick 'n tired of turning on the tv and finding smut. Cussing has become the new norm on tv. Scantily clad women rubbing themselves up and down men to try to get attention is way over board. Do you really need to do that to get ratings now a days?
ReplyDeleteHow far will entertainment go to get one step ahead of the competition? Most women are starving themselves to be the perfect size or to look as great as the girls on tv. How sad that we have come that far. How sad that we have so little value of ourselves that we fall for it every time. Okay I am stepping off my soap box now. Who else wants a turn?? E
AMEN! I'm glad someone in the "business" can see this too.
ReplyDeleteTHIS exactly!
ReplyDeleteand im not only thinking about TV after reading this article...there are so many values and things that have been cheapen down these days..
and when the kids,the teenagers see these kinda things - they think it's okay,it's normal they look up to it as some kinda rolemodel example.
And then we read the stories about 12-13 year girls being pregnant.It's like their childhood is being stolen!
wow, so true!
ReplyDeletecouldn't have said it any better!
I think it courageous you use your voice to say the truth, not being afraid of getting cast out in the glamour business...
never stop using that voice and following your heart Joy!
XO Leonie
We do not have television and this is one of the reasons. I want to be able to monitor what my five year old watches. we have movies and when we find a show we like, we watch it online. I cannot believe this was on the today show. My niece come over and is always singing the most popular music and I am always amazed that her mother allows her to sing along with those lyrics. Thanks for standing out! I is stuff like this that makes me respect you so much.
ReplyDeletei can NOT believe this was shown!!! and no backlash!!?
ReplyDeleteThanks for being a great role model. I'm a 19 year old girl... So THANK YOU for being somebody I can look up to in the entertainment industry...You are a blessing!
i freaking love chicago!! and those pics are GORGEOUS!!
Thank you as always for a great read :)
Thank you for being one of the few role models that people can actually look up to! You hit the nail on the head!! Class isn't dead, it's just been lost in the drivel!!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you haven't buckled to what seems to be the norm in your industry nowadays, is one of the many reasons I definitely look up to you. You're grounded and beautiful. I tend to like celebrities that don't go out night after night and end up looking burned out in an attempt to stay relevant in an instant gratification society that wants more, more, more from the latest celebrity craze.
ReplyDeleteFour years ago, I'd probably just overlook the performance. But fact of the matter is, I have two 3 year old nieces and 19 month old twin nephews now, that are impressionable. Especially in a family of dancers, we play music a lot, and watch music videos. My nieces know Beyonce's Single Ladies dance by heart. At least I know my sisters won't expose them to things like Jersey Shore, but it's sad that this is what our pop culture has come down to.
I miss the days of "racy" being Nsync doing a pelvic thrust in their choreography. That's considered tame now.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say thank you. I'm a 29 year old woman who works with teens and am always cringing at who they select as role models in today's media. It's scary to think of what this generation will turn out to be with the role models they have to look up to.
ReplyDeleteSo thank you for blogging about this and bringing it up. You are a great role model for all.
You hit it right on the nose! I'm always up in the morning catching the Today show or The Early Show and I've seen these performances and it literally was jaw dropping. This "generation" (so to speak) has kind of lost the sensitivity to know what is RIGHT and WRONG. And "right" has turned into a mix of "Jersey Shore hookups" and Early morning rendezvous: trashy.
ReplyDeleteSo thank you for posting this! And thank you for being one of the few celebrities/people who are in the "business" who still has their head on right! You are truly a role model...God bless you for that!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am a 30-year-old mom of two little girls. I get just as outraged as you about what is on TV and even what is offered for young girls. (Seen the recent Barbie movies?) It is so difficult to maintain their innocence. We already talk about these hard things together and the real meaning of beauty. I can't afford not to address it with them.
ReplyDeleteI have always admired your values. They shine through in your work and in the way you conduct yourself off-screen, at least as much as I can see from your interviews (enjoyed the one in _Radiant_ mag several years ago..) and this blog. I started watching One Tree Hill at the beginning of the 2nd season, and I have prayed for you many times over the years. I have no doubt that your job has been as difficult as you say.
Thank you for speaking out and for being a positive role model. You are a woman who I can point my aspiring musical/dancing/singing 7-year-old to as a good example.
Many blessings on you, Michael, and your new little bundle.
-Rebecca Stone
This is all so true. It's all going to go downhill from here. This is sad, because it's so not right. I'm only almost 18 myself, but I refuse to get in on this madness. When you walk down the street you hear kids that are barely 6 and they start yelling words I wouldn't even dare to have come out of my mouth. Makes me wonder though, will it only get worse? That's not really a great future to look forward to. Love should be like it used to be in the movies, friendship should be without calling each other names, music should be pure with lyrics that show any kind of emotion, and people should stand up for things like this happening, especially parents of such little children and BE really pissed off, because it's the right thing to do. People need to think about the future of their children, their children's children and other people's children. If we don't stop it now it will only get worse, because as we can see, people start to find things like this normal when it's really NOT!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks you for speaking out the truth to so many people that just need to hear it, because I'm already ashamed to be from this generations. The way older people look at people my age and the way people my age look at me like why aren't you doing the stuff everyone else is, but like I said I refuse to join the madness and along with me others that think this way, we have to stand even stronger now, because it's ruining our generation.
I couldn't agree more, Bethany. I'm not a mother (yet, but hopefully someday!), and I am already nervous about the things that my children will see or be exposed to, even despite my best efforts to shelter them from things like sex on television! I have a HUGE problem with people in the public realm refusing to acknowledge the fact that they are role models, whether they asked to be or not - thank YOU for being such a glowing role model, and for sparking this discussion!
ReplyDeleteAMEN. And the really sad thing is that you have famous people active in social media, promoting issues and drawing viewers in, while they also stand for low morals. Yes, you can be intelligent and politically-aware and get a crowd to listen to your upright standing on issues, but at the same time you are in Maxim and give off this "sexy" aura that taints viewers minds. So twisted.
ReplyDeleteWow Thank you for posting this... I'm French so I hadn't seen nor known that this thing had been on TV that early... I literally just had this discussion with a few friends and we really are tired of it all, we turn on TV to watch video clip and all we see is people taking there clothes off, or women (because it's almost only women) half naked taken for an object, for shit... And it really is making me sick... It has become a normal thing and it's not right... I have a little sister who's 9 (I'm 20) and she knows thing that I didn't even knew existed at her age because she heard it from the other children at school...
ReplyDeleteAnd the worst part is that nobody realize it... We are walking on the street and there are everywhere posters of women half naked or practically having sex... It's disguting... Being a woman and someday a mother I'm afraid of the way the world is turning... Nobody seem concerned by this while it is a very important and dangerous problem...
And I also wanted to thank you for being one of those celebrities you can look up too!!! Thank you for being responsible and for trying to make people realize certain thing!!! Thank you also for being in a show that does not bring those images and that is trying to make the best out of this world!!!
You truly are an inspiration, role model for every women on this planet!!
God bless you and your family for being that awesome!!
xoxo love
Jackpot! You are absolutely right. Unfortunately, many young women (and apparently men) do not realize, that sex appeal has nothing to do with taking their clothes off and showing their as* in public but it's a state of mind, something you have inside you, an ability to attract others' attention without being obscene and conceited.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, we can still follow some people's example ;) I just wish there were more of them...
Love
Kasia.
I completely agree with your post. I'm fairly open about sexuality but there is a time and place for it. I remember trying to find an outfit for a friend's baby girl as a gift and the only things I could find were tarty things that as a 20 something I wouldn't ever wear. Although I don't watch much TV or listen to mainstream radio, I am aware through my Girl Guide troop and younger siblings some of the classless lyrics to songs out there. It got so bad that there was a list of songs that I banned from my troop meetings. I think parents need to start listening to the music and watching TV with their children, it's what my parents did.
ReplyDeleteEmma
PS That's one of my favourite songs from Chicago!
Thank you!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad girls, teens and women have you to look up to. There are very few in the spotlight that keep their head on their shoulders.
Amen!! I don't have anything to add that you and everyone else hasn't already mentioned so thank you. I completely agree. The things I see some teenagers wearing these days (even though I'm only 21) freaks me out. Even other girls on my college campus, it's ridiculous. So thank you for being awesome. God bless.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you! I actually saw the music artist that you are talking about, in concert. The entire show was shocking...so provocative. The worst part: about 3/4 of the crowd were middle and high school children! Many without parent supervision. I have a feeling that some parents don't realize what their kids listen to and watch! I think that performances, especially those on TV, should be limited to "late-night" shows and not earlier times when most children will be watching television.
ReplyDeleteAh Ke$ha. Can't say I've ever been a fan or plan to. I agree with this though. 8:30 in the morning... or at anytime really. She's just trashy. She's also very, very popular, unfortunately. Some of my closest friends insist on her being played constantly. :\
ReplyDeleteThe worst are commercials with racy material. Like, WHY?! I don't want to be watching whatever with my parents and then have to sit through that awkwardness.
Nice Chicago reference, btw.
agree 100%
ReplyDeleteWe should read/hear more opinions like yours from famous ppl. Modern society lacks class!!
What did happen to class?! I don't know when blatant titillation became so mainstream, but it's disgusting. We're seeing girls losing their self-respect and men embracing it... We're seeing this form of sexualized girl power (please, that is not what feminism is about). It's all so ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteWhat ever happened to respect? What ever happened talent? What ever happened to good role models? Why are people like you so rare?! :)
I'm not a prude, but entertainment has become a string of cheap thrills. It's become about doing whatever you can for people to know your name, and we thrive on sexual controversy and people who are "trainwrecks" (so we can laugh at them).
What happened to caring about the things that matter?! I'm sure the protests in Egypt would get no coverage if a famous girl showed her "ladybiz" in public.
I was thinking about this recently as I started listening to the radio on my hour drive to work. 99% of the songs are about sex, booze, a combination of the two... etc. That BS should not be mainstream. It holds no meaning. I missed it when music was ART. When it was political. When it was "relatable"!!!
Great post!! :) Thanks for using your voice in a positive way and not being one of those singers "stripping" on stage for the $$$ and fame.
xo,
Steph
PS: OF COURSE the girl on the Today Show was Kesha. Ugh.
I definitely agree with you to a point. Children are exposed to WAY too much these days. I mean, I know when I was 10 or 12 I had no idea what sex was and certainly wasn't allowed to watch MTV/music videos or anything that wasn't appropriate. These days, it's so sad to hear of young girls dressing up like their favorite trash on TV, to hear that 10-12 year olds are wearing make-up and skin tight clothes... I don't know. I guess I could go on and on.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand... I don't necessarily mind doing a photo shoot in next to nothing. There are ways to do is tastefully, and dare I say, even in a classy way. I've seen many beautiful photos of girls in lingerie and such. But it's nothing I would do over and over and over again, because then... it's just for attention.
I really love this update, Joy!! And I hope we are somehow able to tone down the racy material in the media again. I know when I begin my family, I won't want my little ones exposed to such things at an early age.
This is exactly why I look up to you Joy. You are one of the few people in Hollywood that have stood on their morals and not conformed to what everyone else is doing. You don't pretend to believe or support in something just because the rest of Hollywood believes it.
ReplyDeleteI didn't see that show but if I had I would have been outraged. I don't have any children yet but I have a baby niece and four little cousins all under the age of 6. The show itself seems absolutely disgusting but it makes it so much worse that there were children in the audience. I'm appalled that it's just been swept under the rug. I'm even more appalled that parents actually allowed their children to be a part of that. Apparently, parents just aren't what they use to be. It's sad because that's what's going to affect the next generation of children and ultimately the future leaders/role models of the world. I thank God everyday that I was brought up in a loving, Christian environment and that my dad spent time with us and instilled good morals into my sister and I.
It's sad to say but it's going to get worse. There are people daily trying to get rid of Conservative talk radio and celebrities who, and I quote, "think fox news is the most dangerous media outlet since the Third Reich propaganda." It's not only ridiculous but shows just how badly others want to silence those of us who still have good family values because it offends them. It's interesting how everyone promotes unity, being open minded and tolerance but when it comes to tolerating others beliefs they don't practice what they preach.
Wow, that got lengthy. I apologize for that. I do want to say that I think you are going to make an excellent mother becauseyou do stand up for what you believe in and have good morals. If there were more people like you in the industry maybe it wouldn't be as corrupt.
AMEN to that!
ReplyDeleteI used to do youth work in the UK for some years.. some of the youngsters I worked didnt even know how to form a propper sentence yet knew how to wear their school uniforms in a way that it was hard NOT to see everything - and I mean EVERYTHING! On top of it they were quite able to move in a very provoking and sexual way but didnt even know how sit on the dinner table properly.
And yes, they were kids that watched TV in the morning whilst having breakfast...And who do they listen to - some youthworker or some guy from morning TV?
Now I am back in Germany and I always thought the UK was more "westernised"... but I was wrong. It's the same over here now too and it's getting worse!
So speak up, Lady! We are "nobodies" but you as an actor/singer have a better chance to make a difference! - I'll back you up!
Hello Bethany,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you! I'm from Brazil and from what I see with your text, which is everywhere these things happen the same way!
I always watch 'One Tree Hill' and how little we know about you is basically what I see on the show. But it has to realize that you have a heart and a vision of the world so pure and beautiful like her character!
Take care ... kisses
Rubia Araujo
Recife - PE. Brazil.
YOU ARE AMAZING, you know that? You should be proud of yourself, and I know that you are. I couldn't agree more bytheway! I look up to you so much, even though I'm only 14. You're the worlds greatest. Love, Stephanie.
ReplyDeleteJoy,
ReplyDeleteI am a hs teacher and trust me when I tell you parents today let their kids do and say whatever they want. I honestly don't understand it at all. I am a 30 yr women looking to start a family someday and i just dont understand what is wrong with kids today. I honesty think its bc of the media and what is shown to them on tv today. I am also from Jersey and well I am a real Jersey girl and the Jersey Shore makes all of us from Jersey look like assholes (excuse my language). I can't stand how they make the Jersey shore look!
So thank you for posting something like this! Please know that this is why i love YOU so much! I really think you are a great role model, especially being the same age and all i thought i was the only one who thought whats goin on in the world today! With your acting and music and everything that you are involved in outside of acting and working with LOVE146 I really look up to you. I really wish we knew eachother because i think we would be really good friends!
I can relate to this post because everyday I asking myself "Whats going on with our society or even to the world?"
ReplyDeleteI grown up in a country that known to be "conservative", majority of the people here are Catholic.Moral value, Dignity, Norms are so important here ever since then but now it was a lie.
Sex for fame is just a typical trade all over the world even in this country where moral values is so important. I also wondering why the dancers in a variety shows need to dress up in their bikinis while performing their jobs considering there's a lot of kids and grown up men that can be aroused by seeing an almost naked women dancing in front of their TV sets...and before they knew it they're looking for a sex partner..
I'm working in an environment where almost all the people are Gays, but not a typical gays that dressed up like a girl "transgender". These Gays are muscled men, boy next door or a heartthrob that every woman dreams but they're really Gay at heart. I learned from them that not just once in their lives they trade sex to have promotions or do it vice versa like if there's a hot new comer in the office that they like, they ask to this guy an indecent proposal.And the guy will said yes without hesitation.
While hanging out with them we encountered a group of gay students around 9 to 14 years old, and I asked them "How come you realized that you're gays at that every young age?" and they said "I love men", "My Dad is a gay too" and "I watched it on TV". I asked again "You watched it on TV?" but a gay friend of mine answered. "Hey wake up,friend. Everything is on TV and internet right now. We're not a typical conservative country anymore."
I agree to what my gay friend told me but I know there's something wrong from the start. Like If the parents guide their kids while growing up maybe these are not gays or my gay friends don't need to trade sex for promotions or even in the aspiring artist to have "sex for fame"
I'm also not a prude or so religious but I just missed our old culture,the norms and term "Conservative".
Thanks for open up this topic...
Thank goodness for actresses/singers like you that have good spirits, morals, and pure hearts.. There should be more like you but unfortunately, people have totally skewed views on life these days and stick to what's "in".
ReplyDeleteThank you for being you.
So true, and beautifully written. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for bringing light to this topic and for standing strong for what you believe in and for giving us a great role model by not compromising your standards. I've noticed lately while watching one tree hill reruns how much your modesty shows through in your character.
ReplyDeleteThe trash on TV is one of the reasons why I don't even bother owning one anymore! I have better things to do with my time. Hopefully others become more aware and sensitive to what is going on before there eyes.
I could not have said that better myself *shares this with FB*
ReplyDeleteI am soooo with you!! There is nothing wrong, prude or anything else with having morals and standards!!! I think we need to take a stand so our children don't have to continue to be sexualized way to young. This has caused a lot of problems in society and I am glad to see you a celebrity say enough!!!! If more said ENOUGH then it would help to change a lot of things!!
ReplyDeleteI could not agree with you more. I'm due to give birth to our first child in a few weeks, and this topic has weighed heavy on my mind as of late. Sometimes my husband and I speculate about what he'll be seeing in the media in a few years. Those conversations leave us feeling a bit sad. (To add to that, we're both teachers, so we've seen our share of boys who objectify girls, and girls who welcome the negative attention). My parents made an effort to be vigilant about what I was exposed to as a child, and while at the time I thought it was a pain, I now know where they were coming from. And I truly believe I turned out better for it. Thank you not only for being so down-to-earth, but also for voicing your opinion on such an important topic.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Bethany:
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. I live in Spain and here is a TV channel which shows things like that all the time, and worse. And it is really scary, you Know? Because i am 29 years old and i have a 2 years old niece who doesn't watch TV now but she will someday and i wonder what will she think about women when she watch this. I want to say thank you for your words and for being a great model for young women all around the world.
P.D Sorry for my english. Like i said, i'm spanish
Hey Joy,
ReplyDeleteWOW!!! I'm SO GLAD a celebrity as yourself has spoken out and expressed their concern on what "Class" is. There are so many starlets and celebrities out their, that don't have any "class". It seems to get worse every year. The awful and violent reality shows, the seemingly popular teen pregnancy shows, oh lets not forget the Real Housewives! LOL! Like they have any clue what Real Housewife means. The now and cool Bridalplasty show, I could keep going.
Where are the parents telling their children this isn't ok behavior and how to treat and respect others? Are there woman left out their, that do have class? Is there Woman who teaches their children what is right and what is wrong? Let's not forget the awful music that floods our radios....I wouldn't even call it music. What happened to sex being a private thing between two people who are married and love each other? What the hell happened to our society?
It's disgusting and sickening...We need to step up as "CLASSY" woman and show those children who are confused how to act and what is respectful. It's NOT cool to dance to music that is awful and degrading, It's NOT cool to get pregnant at 16 and NEVER graduate from high school, It's NOT cool to walk the Jersey Shore with your ass and boobs hanging out and getting wasted ONLY to take home a stranger!!! We need to change our society before we can move forward. We need to continue to write to these networks and express that this kind of TV is NOT entertaining!!! Let's step up as "CLASSY" woman and make a difference.
Joy, you’re an amazing woman and you will mostly definitely make a wonderful mother! Thank You for speaking up and caring for those who are easily manipulated. You’re my idol and Thank You!!!
Amen! Thank you!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm only 25, but I"m also a middle school teacher. The things that I hear and see kids do, how they dress, and how they speak is insane when compared with when I was their age. It wasn't even that long ago. Still they don't dream of being smart, successful and independent. They do want to be reality tv stars or they talk about being famous singers like Ke$ha. What a joke.
What happened to singers who could sing? Or actors who could act? What happened to watching decent tv shows instead of "reality" tv like Jersey Shore and Teen Mom. It's depressing and I'm sad that there is no going back.
I would love to see class respected over trash.
It sad that the shows think that is ok. Its not classy and it just tells all the younger girls that is how they should act and it is horrible. I've been called a prude before but my response stays the same. I'd rather be a prude than be a ho. I'm back in college at 25 and if parents only know how their 18-22 year old daughters dressed and acted they would be so ashamed and embarrassed. I was actually just at the mall today and this girl was coming in as I was leaving and it she barely bent over her boobs were going to fall out completely. Its a sad way to get attention and I will refuse to dress like that if that the type of girl a guy is looking for. We lost classy women and common sense. If only those in charge of putting the shows on tv would read this and care about making women look "classY" and no "trashy".
ReplyDeleteHi Joy. This World is really lost, depraved. The people don't matter with God's opinion, with other people...Do what to want... Love your posts, you so class and beautiful person. Kisses and hugs.
ReplyDeleteHi Joy,
ReplyDeleteEverything you said I 100% agree with you. This world gets crazier by the minute! Your voice is such a great influence to people. You're going to be a fantastic mother.
Alex
Joy
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this, I actually think I'm going to post this on my own blog. I could not have said it any better. It's so true what happened to class? Sometimes with the way society is today I feel like I was born in the wrong time. Some of the values that I have seem so far fetched in today's sexually charged society. Glad to know that I'm not alone with my feelings.
Hi Bethany,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that there are people like you who are so classy and fight for what they believe in. You're such an inspiration for me and many other women in the world.
Thank you so much for being who you are. Your baby is going to have the best mother ever.
Lots of love,
Astrid (Belgium)
AMEN! Good to feel like I'm not the only one asking that question. It's nice to hear someone who is part of the entertainment industry say what you've said.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog post, Joy! This is an issue that has bothered me for quite some time now, so thank you for bringing attention to it. You are the definition of class. I hope you don't mind, but in my latest livejournal entry I've linked my friends list to you so that they can check out this blog post themselves since it is so thought-provoking.
ReplyDeleteJoy:
ReplyDeletethanks for another great post! You are so right. I often think about the horrors of what is shown on tv, heard on the radio and printed in magazines (sitting out in the open at the check-out line) for the masses to see and hear. it really is disgraceful and i really look up and admire you (and the other classy women in the public eye from today and the good ol'days).
I'm right around the same age as you and all i know is that it was hard enough being a kid when I was growing up when there was such a thing as class in the world of entertainment -- i can't even imagine growing up now and I don't envy kids these days. I think it's really great of you to continue to post such positive messages on your blog, portray such a classy character on tv and create such amazing music (and that's music, not noise).
I hope you know how amazing and classy you really are and I know that i speak for many when I say we really appreciate you and enjoy your blog, twiiter, acting and music and I think you really do inspire us to be better people ourselves.
Thanks you again and have a great rest of your weekend!
XoXo Karen
I totally agree thanks for being classy!
ReplyDeleteI love the honestly in this blog. I'm tired of being a statistic in society amongst the college and highschool students that everyone has to abide by societies' standards? Where the hell is that written? I write lyrics and my most personal songs that involve a sense of self, vulnerably, sex and love.. I know that it comes from a deep place. I'm not the type to intentionally brag about what do I do or would I do with a man? I believe marriage is sacred and I'm waiting for the man that is mine. It's sad how society has compromised our views of such dear, special, religious topics into something so obscure and has made it tainted.
ReplyDeleteI think what's worse, is that she's actually not a bad singer, she's just sings crappy, mainstream music to get on the radio or to get famous or whatever the reason. I just don't understand why she records that crap when she could sing things like this.
ReplyDeleteBefore she became "Ke$ha"-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abK18-iPMLc
Apparently that is the 'norm' these days.
ReplyDeleteGirls walk around with their butts hanging out the bottom of their 'shorts'.
Kids in my town start having sex at 12.
I'm so glad that myself & my friends did not go down that path.
Julia Roberts is all class!
You are all class!
The world would be a better place if there were more people like you.
I'm really happy you brought this up. It's disgusting how far it's come. I'm from Jersey and I absolutely despise the show Jersey shore. The first thing people ask me when they find out i'm from jersey is ... why don't you look like the people on the show? It's ridiculous... they give us such a bad name. I've been going down the shore since I was a little girl... obviously i stay away from SLEAZEside for a reason... i dont wanna catch an std. The REAL jersey shore is beautiful and it's a shame people think less of it because of the show.
ReplyDeleteOkay sorry for venting about that... But all the industry is marketing nowadays is sex. People think it's okay to just sleep around with random people and much of the music is trash. I happen to love Taylor Swift, one of the few popular artists who dont sing about getting wasted and sleeping around. Obviously, you Joy are full of class and that's why I love reading your blog! I wish more people in the industry were like you!
xoxo Col
It's so refreshing to see someone in the entertainment industry not only feel the way you do, but be bold enough to say something about it. You constantly inspire me as an artist not only because of the actress that you are, but because of the person that you are and the values that you are not afraid to hold. Thanks for being an inspiration to me and so many other young artists out there!
ReplyDeleteHey Joy there is a lot I would like to say on this topic nut mu comment is to long so ya I agree people don't show any class and even teens girls show no class . my friends have no class and nither does there parents because they let them dress like sluts let there kids drink have sex and smoke and stuff it's sad so glad I am not like them at all. xoxo briee
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. You are definitely part of a dying breed in the entertainment industry that share those same values as you. If there could only be more role models like you for our younger generation to look up to. I work at a middle school and the boy's and girl's are not even allowed to have lunch together because in the past couple years there has been so many kid's caught having sex in the bathrooms. This is middle school!!! I graduated from high school twelve years ago and there was NEVER once an issue with kid's caught having sex on campus in the four years I went there. Society has changed so much in the past decade that it is frightening to think where we will be in another ten years!!
ReplyDeleteWhat an awesome blog Joy!!!And what a smart title :)Well i definitely agree with you and i've cought myself wondering ''what happened to class'' quite a few times since i wanna become a teacher and that means a good role model for my students...I don't believe that that makes us prudes though...I think that we just want things to go back to normal,to the way its supposed to be cuz what you just described CAN'T BE normal...At least not for me...It makes you wonder what happened to love being something magical,special,important.In nowadays everything is so simplified and merchadised that its just too paiful to watch or even to think about...
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this!!!I'm so proud that you're my role model!!!xoxo
PS;Its been 4 days since i started the routine you suggested at your previous blog and my face already feels and looks refreshed!!!So thanks for that too!!!Will def keep that routine up!!!
What happened to class and dignity??? Such a good point, as a teenager myself to watch all these provocative music videos and read magazines where near nudity is all that's in there, ,is just disturbing and simply wrong! I'm being brought up in a world where media is promoting nudity and saying that everyone should be like this! Sometimes when my 12 year old sister is flicking through the channels on the TV, she may choose to watch the news or something and the first and only article that they are reporting on is either underage sex or nude celebrities! It's so wrong that at such a young age, when you are so innocent and don't know what is right and what is wrong, that you are being exposed to these kinds of things!
ReplyDeleteWhatever happened to the 40's when a sexy outfit was a long sleeved, knee length dress??? Why do we change our idea of what is resepctable and noticeable, when we know that it is too raunchy and out there?
You are one of only a few celebrities and actresses that understand that they don't have to sell themselves in the industry to get what they want. It just shows that those people do not have a high enough amount of respect for themselves! RESPECT YOURSELF, RESPECT YOUR BODY & RESPECT YOUR INTEGRITY!!!
Thanks for posting this Joy, it just outrages me that such rude and inappropriate things can be shown and exposed to people so young and innocent!
You are my role model and inspiration, thank you for being who you are! :)
- Becca x
P.S. I'm listening to your advice and treating my hair and skin the way i should! It's been about 3 days and my skin feels soooo good, however, as you said my hair is adjusting to the new routine! I will do it for the whole month and tell you how it goes... THANKS :)
Oh, i also read on your twitter that in 2012 you (Everly) might visit the UK, you should definitely come and i would definitely go to one of your shows! Can't wait for all your new music aswell!
ReplyDelete- Becca x
Thank you for this. It's nice to know that others feel this way. It saddens me that this is what society has come to. I'd like to go back to go back to what it was like when i was in like elementary or so (I'm 19). I think it's going to get worse before it gets better though. How it can get any more horrid than Jersey Shore I don't know but that's how life works...
ReplyDeleteI love all your work btw
xoxo Kianna
Hey, I'm from Latvia. I also couldn't have said better. We have posters of naked pair of people in front of the secondary school and society says nothing. But when children come form kindergarden and before meal says praise to God, media turns it into a sensation like it is something bad. So I am also wondering, where the world is turning? How come we don't see what's good and what's evil for us? (sorry for any mistakes)
ReplyDeleteYou are right Joy! These things are seen here in Italy, not so much on television, but in Italian films .. Unfortunately, the woman in the entertainment world is seen as an "object", and unfortunately, people are accustomed to this situation ..
ReplyDeletexoxo Ilaria
I totally agree on what you're saying here! And you're definetely not being a prude! It's sad if teenagers look up to these half-naked-platinum-blonde bimbos trying to be celebreties!
ReplyDeleteJoy,
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with everything you have stated in this post. I grew up in a Christian household where we were limited to what we were able to see on the television.
There were never gossip magazines in my house and there never will be. I grew up on television shows like "Full House", "Family Matters", "Boy Meets World" and "Home Improvement". While they may come off as a bit cheesy, they were wholesome television shows that the whole family could enjoy.
I long for the days where there will be a block of television shows on basic stations (2,5,7,9, 12) that are decent to watch for all age levels. Remember when there used to be TGIF on ABC?
When I think of the entertainment industry, it makes me sad to see what everything has become. It's awesome that you are not letting yourself become what is now the "norm". I admire actresses like Meryl Streep and Kate Winslet because they exude class.
Something just as mind-boggling is the idea that classless celebrities get air time on the news when events such as the revolt in Egypt, our soldiers across seas, and other important news events don't receive as much priority. Goodness, it's sad, isn't it? I'd much rather receive all of the information about these important affairs and then have a few minutes of news about the entertainment world that is uplifting and refreshing. For example, a short piece about someone using their popularity for the greater good.
Sometimes, I really think, "What has this world come to? Does everyone want our world to turn out this way?" Then, I see a post like yours and people from across the globe agreeing with your words. There is still some sanity left among us; I just hope it can restore what once was.
Joy-
ReplyDeleteI so appreciate you taking the time to articulate and construct such an eye opening entry. I was quite overwhelmed emotionally while reading. It is good to see the support from other readers as well. We do not stand alone in our opinions of societal values and the idea of the power of the media. I personally find myself so connected to what you have written as my life and values could have become just as perverse as some of the young woman we see in the media today.
At 21 I am still dealing with the sexual abuse I experienced as a child and it is because of this past abuse I find myself demanding more and more respect from society and the people who constitute it. I refuse to be degraded, exploited, and sneered at because of the way I portray myself whether it be how I act, what I wear, or how I speak. Contrary to what women are being told it IS possible to be sexy and tasteful at the same time.
I mean honestly, who ever said wearing a baseball jersey and converse isn't sexy? Why aren't jeans and a t-shirt beautiful? Young women need to stop following the "sexy" trends of today and look back in time to the 40's and 50's. They need to talk to their grand parents and great grandparents- find out from them what REAL BEAUTY is.... or was. It is time for us to all come together and stop allowing shows like The Jersey Shore, Holly's World, and Skins dictate our realities. Put on your sweat pants ladies, throw your hair back in a bun, and rock your baseball hat. Be smart, because SMART is SEXY.
So many women before us have fought for so long to be treated equally, they have fought to be taken seriously, to be acknowledged for their intelligence as opposed to their beauty. It is frustrating most of all because of my past- I could have become this promiscuous girl with no standards, no regard for myself or my body. But I didn't, I realized that what had happened wasn't my choice, but that I now had a choice to become who I wanted to be. All of us woman young, middle aged, elderly- we all have a choice to take a stand. Be ourselves, demand respect and define beauty with our brains, not our bodies.
Human sexuality is such a precious thing, we need not destroy it.
This post has absolutely made my day. It's truly a sad world that we live in today. Those that don't care to be a part of the filth that is rampant in our society get labeled "weird" or "strange" and especially "uncool." I, and I'm sure many others, have taken a beating on our self esteem because we don't want to be like the norm.
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea how good it feels for someone else to stand up and say something. You are not alone. Many of us are appalled at the demoralization of our society. I'm so glad you voiced this concern, as it has helped to renew my resolve.
I am only 26 and have felt this way....well....my entire life. I'm so glad I am not alone. All we can do is stick together and stay classy!
Genevieve
so glad you posted this. It is near to impossible to turn on the tv or radio these days without hearing or seeing something appalling. Im so glad there are people who will speak out against this type of thing and you are definitely not alone. thanks again
ReplyDeletei grew up with the girl you are talking about and i know that her songs and wardrobe aren't classy, but she's a good person. nashville was flooded last may. people died, houses and lives were destroyed. i was on vacation at the time and before i even made it back home, she was there. she lives in LA but immediately flew back to where she grew up and supplied the humane society with loads of food. and she was even quicker than taylor swift and every other "wholesome" nashville artist to come up with benefit shows. i think she had 3 separate concerts where every cent went to flood relief. for her to sing on that show, she should have sung "we r who we r" which she wrote for the boys who committed suicide.
ReplyDeletei agree with all that you've said about class, but sometimes people have characters that they portray in order to make money or just do what they love. people like kesha & gaga have to go to extremes because they aren't drop dead gorgeous enough to just sing and have people care. cher and madonna have made livings off of slutting it up, but they're considered artists for it.
i'm not saying kesha should be praised for being trashy, i just think it sucks that no one knows all that she has done for her community
Thank you for this entry! I thoroughly agree with the "class" thing. Having class isn't difficult, but it's definitely not the easiest thing for young ones these days because they are inundated with such trash! I appreciate the fact that you won't settle for being classless; you are one classy lady! Love from Alabama :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so thankful for your blog. You are truly a role model for young women. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteI got so many points here, that's why i love reading your post. Thank you so much! Kesha Tickets
ReplyDeleteAmen sistah! That girl and too many others like her are acting like...trash. I hate to be so bold in that term, but what else could you call it. Completely unclassy. Yay for you for standing up and saying something!
ReplyDeleteWow. It is so refreshing to see an actress and singer (celebrity in general) with her head on straight! I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI do very much agree. It's almost scary to have children right now I think. My husband is afraid if we would have a girl.
ReplyDeleteThe girls that are younger wear whatever they would like and their parents do not get involved. I don't know whether its the entertainment media that's causing the "trashy" look however as long as its a name brand that makes it okay.
But thank you for speaking up!
Hi Bethany,
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the same thing while listening to our local radio station the other day. My husband and I were laughing a little at Taylor Swifts song, but I said to him I'd rather my daughter listening to Taylor than any of the current trash that is being played at the moment, all pretty much about clubbing and taking your clothes of and being a bad girl. It's really quite sad.
Well said!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBethany so true,
ReplyDeleteI ask that question everyday. It seems more and more to become a vulgar society of nit-wits. Who cannot sing, write, or spell.
You are not alone.
I have never heard the song and I knew before I even looked it up who sings it. This girl is completely inappropriate in all her songs. I too can't believe that parents let their kids take part in it. Thank you for a great post. It shows that there are people in the business who wonder the same things the rest of us do.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I love you! Because you are not afraid to be a real woman. You have always exuded class and I thank you for setting such a good example!
ReplyDeleteHi Joy! :)
ReplyDeleteI have been looking for a way where I could email you but that kinda seems unlikely :). I love reading ur posts. Firstly, I totally agree with everything you said in your post.. Wow i didnt know how crazy and low our world had become. But again we cant stop anyone from doing what they want but we can learn to stop ourselves and to know that we will teach our future generation the right values. Yes, its tough but again we can always put the effort :) I am very sure ull make an awesome Mom! :) Its good to know that someone in Hollywood still has class and thinks the way u do its amazing way to go! :)
Secondly, I had stopped wtching One Tree Hill for a long time until recently. I caught up with all the seasons and I absolutely Love it. One of the reasons I do is because of you and of course James but mainly its the amazing characters you both portray. It teaches us alot of relationships and parenthood its amazing. I also somehow feel that you dont only play the character s a character but alot of Haley is in the real Joy if u get what I mean :) As in you both are alot similar I think and i know I am not wrong because od the way you write and how warm and down to earth you are its so nice to know that some1 from Hollywood can be so humble :) I always look forward to seeing One Tree Hill every week and seeing you btw you looked gorgeous in the pink dress for Brooke's wedding :)
I wish you all the success and happiness and thank you for always keeping us entertained with you great writing :)
Also, I love you voice :)
Cheers! I sincerely hope you read this :)
Have a fabulous day! :)
when i read this post the first thought i had was "uaoh so it's happening everywhere!"...want to know what's actually sad?! that the same exactly thing is something i see almost everyday on my tv...
ReplyDeletegreeting from Italy
Laura
Hello,I love reading through your blog, I wanted to leave a little comment to support you and wish you a good continuation. Wishing you the best of luck for all your blogging efforts. I definitely enjoying every little bit of it Smile I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post. Kesha Tickets
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with your point of view! Hope someone responses you because that's not normal! Meanwhile your blog is great! I love reading all your new publications-so real and interesting. Keep going with that! Greetings! Geri
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for speaking up the truth like that ! I really like your way of thinking !
ReplyDeleteKeep up the amazing work you do, you truly are a woman to look up to.
Greetings from France,
Sophie
Why is it? Cause our world, thanks to lack of parenting and mass media, has gone to Hell in a handbasket. Nothing more, nothing less. I HATE to think that modesty is now considered "prude" or "inexperienced". What is wrong with people? I know that when I was in high school (years ago) it was cool to wear a short skirt (just above the knees), or a tank top that MIGHT show a little cleavage. And only 6 years later as a cheerleading coach of high schoolers I found that was NOT the norm and it has progressively gotten MUCH worse!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sticking to your guns and your beliefs BJG, you, along with a select few others in HOllywood, are a true inspiration to the young women of the world today. If only there were more of you :(
Ok first I have to say please,please,please don't quit because then we'll lose one of the few great rolemodels we have.Like many other women I can see you on tv or in photographs, or listen to your music and I'm proud to be a bethany joy galeotti fan..I'm so passionate about this topic so I couldn't agree more, I'm completly fed up with the way that some people behave. I think women who dress skimpy shouldn't expect anything but disrespect, it just allows men to use them for a door mat. I'm so frustrated with some of the male population-there is no excuse to be going to what they nicely refer to as "gentlemen's" clubs..it's trash and there's no reason for it what-so-ever, especially it the guy is in a relationship, it's a slap in the face to the woman they are with (like your not good enough, so I need to go see other naked woman) the person that your with should be ENOUGH-they should be more than enough and if it is the person that you claim to love then you shouldn't have to see anyone else..and shame on the women who just say, "well they're guys" that's BS!! That's just something they use to justify what they are doing and it's not ok!!! And shame on the women who work in places like that (you're doing no favors for yourself or earning ANY respect what-so-ever) MacDonald's is always hiring! Trying to pay for school-apply for financial aid..there's no excuse!! You know they did an episode of undercover boss on hooters and the women working there were being mis-treated,i guess...well you know what..I don't feel one bit sorry for them(if you take a slutty job you're going to be treated as such!!)Have some respect for yourself and other women!!! As a young women, I treasure and uphold my morals and values.The man that i'm with WILL NOT watch porn or go to crazy strip clubs-it's me or "them". I have a great deal of self-respect for myself and other women so SHAME on all of the females out there who think that their loose behavior is ok because it's NOT OKAY and MUCH SHAME on all you men who think it's ok to leave you wife and go to a strip club (it is the highest form of dis-respect) it's NOT OKAY!! so if telling yourself or your friends "it's just guys being guys" is what you have to believe to help you sleep at night..you may want to re-think your "relationship" I know i ranted and i could go on and on but ladies you can still be sexy with your clothes on!! Skinny jeans paired with a flowy vintage top and some red lipstick--that's sexy(not slutty)!!!
ReplyDeleteHIGHEST praise to you BJG!!
also if you read this joy i'd really like to hear your take on "entertainment" for men and women!!
Hi Joy,
ReplyDeleteI was reading your blog and when I got to the lyrics I stopped and had to contact you right away. Those x-rated lyrics from that girl who dressed like TRASH not class, is called Kesha with a stupid $ in her name for the S. She is one disaster, as in SCOTLAND, UK I was walking passed my local CATHOLIC Primary School (who a lot of my family have been too, and still have very young cousins there) which in USA its like Elementary School or before, a young girl about 7 years old, if that? Walked singing to herself while walking home from Elementary school. As she walked passed me I was disgusted and quite mortified as this young little innocent 7 year old was singing one of Kesha's songs with the lyrics as...........
"Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
Cause when I leave for the night, I ain’t coming back" "Pulling up to the parties Trying to get a little bit tipsy" "Don’t stop, make it pop Tonight, I’mma fight" "But the party don’t stop" "Ain’t got a care in world, but got plenty of beer" "the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger" "everybody getting crunk, crunk boys trying to touch my junk, junk Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk we goin til they kick us out, out Or the police shut us down, down Police shut us down, down Po-po shut us down, down"
I mean can you imagine children at elementary school known these words and singing to them? 5 year olds - 10 year olds. Really? She is an awful role model. She's only 23. I'm 20 years old and I have more style and class than she does! It really.... well frankly, it just pisses me off! I hate everyone singing about sex, drugs, alcohol, smoking infront of children and dressing like... (again, being frank...) a bit of a ... tart? Perhaps thats even a too nice of a word to use for people like her.
Well I'm going back to read your blog, but yeah that Girl is called KESHA ans here's the video of the exact clip you watched on TV....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=iv&v=4siqUWSXvz8&annotation_id=annotation_104286
AND HERE ARE SOME OF THE LYRICS:
Where the freaks all come around. It's a hole in the wall. It's a dirty free for all. That the animal comes alive. Looking for Something wild. And now we lookin' like pimps In my gold Trans-Am. Got a water bottle full of whiskey In my handbag. Got my drunk text on I'll regret it in the mornin' But tonight I don't give a..... And they turn me on. When they Take It Off. When they Take It Off. Everybody Take It Off. There's a place I know If you're looking for a show. Where they go hardcore And they turn me on. When they Take It Off. When they Take It Off. Everybody Take It Off. Lose your mind. Lose it now. Lose your clothes In the crowd. We're delirious. Tear it down 'Til the sun comes back around. N-now we're getting so smashed. Knocking over trash cans. Eurbody breakin' bottles It's a filthy hot mess. Gonna get faded I'm not the designated Driver so I don't give a …. EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF! EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF! Right now! TAKE IT OFF! Right now! TAKE IT OFF! Right now! TAKE IT OFF Right now! TAKE IT OFF! Right now! TAKE IT OFF!
It's amazing to know that other people feel this way! I'm only fifteen, but I have better class and manners than alot of the seniors. I refuse to curse, like anything at all and at dances I don't feel comfortable because it mainly consists of rubbing certain body parts against total strangers. I hear people at my school talking about how they hook up and I usually drown it out, but I did have a breaking point. The girl who was my best friend for years and years ended up pregnant in our freshman year of high school. And it's also just embarrassing how people my age act. The rest of us are painted in a bad light and people begin to believe that it is completely normal. I had a very sheltered childhood, there were some cartoons that I wasn't allowed to watch because they were inappropriate and I was only allowed to go on approved Internet sites and had to ask permission to watch a PG13 movie until I was actually 13. Many of the people at my school saw their first R rated movie when they were 7. This scares me because I can't Ehelp but wonder what happened to society? When did it become okay for a three year old to be dressed like she belonged on the corner? Or for my 10 year old brother to look up things on the Internet because people at school were talking about it and he was curious? If we've sunken this far, how much farther will we have to go? How much longer do we have to wade through the sea of trash before someone decides it's time to get back on the ship of class?
ReplyDeleteBethany, I am 17 yeards old and I appreciate every single word you wrote in this article. I completely agree with you that class has become a word to be only associated with school and not a persons individual self. It is amazing that you use your fame to put a message such as this out to the world. For that and for your amazing job as Haley (my favorite character forever) I commend and admire you!
ReplyDeleteHi Bethany,
ReplyDeleteI think you heard something about the Italian prime minister Berlusconi and his behaviour with women. A lot of people in Italy have chosen to defend him from those accusations, but there are also people who are going to demonstrate against him and against the objectification of women's bodies on 13 february.
I don't know if you can understand Italian, but, just in case, here -> http://tv.repubblica.it/home_page.php?playmode=player&cont_id=61224&ref=search <- you can find something very interesting. A lot of Italian famous women, but also men, stood up to say "stop it!". The campaign name is "sono donna e dico basta!" (I'm a woman and I say stop it! That's enough!). Probably prime minister Berlusconi won't dismiss himself, but it's important for us to let people hear our voices.
Thank you for your grace and elegance.
Clara.
Hi Joy, my name is Francesca and i'm from Italy. Trust me, i really understand what you mean, here now we are full of the so called "reality shows", but in reality they are not shows, they are places where young women (and with young i mean 18-20 years old) show everything they can, just to become "famous". Everyday we have to see kisses and sometimes almost sex scenes! Especially in The big brother, i really hate that tv show: it seems that the only way to become a tv character is to be a slut and be proud to be like that! Well guess what, i'm not like that and i'm proud to be "normal"! I really like you, you are always so elegant and so nice, young girls should take women like you as examples! xoxo Fra
ReplyDeleteI don't have any children, but I can imagine that someday if I do, it'll be hard to find a balance between openness and innocence/self-respect.
ReplyDeleteI don't want my children to grow up thinking that sex is dirty, something to be ashamed of, or something we can't talk about. It's an important dialogue - but there's a time, place, and age to consider. 8:30 in the morning with a six-year-old at the breakfast table isn't it.
I want my potential future daughters to be in control of their own sexuality - not it in control of them. And CERTAINLY not influenced by such objectification of women - by other women, no less!
Thank-you for that post. I am a young mom and have to think about each thing I watch and listen to, not only for my daughter's sake, but for my own as well. It is good to know that not everyone in the industry is okay with selling themselves, their bodies, and their values for fame.
ReplyDeleteJust plainly a great post. We have 3 children under the age of 6 and we are very protective of what their precious eyes see. Sure things pop through every once in a while, but we try to control what they do see. I would of been outraged at what I saw that day on The Today Show too, then again I never watch it due to its usual content...boring :) Good for you for standing up for this. I hope it rang in their ears and they will think twice about doing something like this again.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!!
ReplyDeleteHello Joy! My name is Ilaria and I attend the Faculty of Communications at the University of Naples, Italy. My dream would be, after graduating, to work in television, behind the scenes of some great show, maybe a project similar to One Tree Hill, which is a show done really well. I'd love to work for an American network (I know it's something a bit utopian), because I love everything about the world of film and television, directing, editing, screenwriting, then I love theater and acting. I love the magic that is created when the director says "action" and created something special that can convey feelings to someone special, and I would one day be part of those who make it possible, in the backstage, the implementation of this spell. You are many years in this area and respect you as much as an actress and professional (you're really good!). And also you're venturing into directing with OTH and I read that you also involved in theater productions (news came in Italy's stage production of "The Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks). Let me ask you a honest opinion on what really is this world, prospects that can give, how it works .. How was your experience and your approach in all this? That way you advise me to follow?
You're the only person I can say, which is part of the industry I'd like to join one day. I'm sorry to bother you and I hope to receive your response, if you can. I'd help. :)
Many thanks and best wishes to all. A hug!
Folks, I hate to say it, but it's not the media being responsible for it - it's the parents. Should a child really watch morning tv? At breakfast?? We don't even had a tv until I was 6 years old and later the tv was locked in. I think I didn't miss a thing!
ReplyDeleteHello from good old Germany!
~J~
I'm so glad you keep it so classy and others are as triggered by the image that up and coming talent are portraying for young girls dying to embody them today. I guess there's no stopping it. Where there is demand there will always be supply, but we can forge on by being examples and leaders ourselves and pass along messages of strong women who don't have to take it off to make an impression.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is why I've stopped watching television altogether. I hate that seven-year-olds & five-year-olds are as educated in sex as I was when I was 15 or 16. I learned where babies come from from a book designed specifically for children written in a language a child would understand with a sufficient amount of information, but not too much of it. Now it's super busy parents who sit their child in front of the tv instead of playing games and coming up with ideas how to spend quality time together. I get the busyness & tiredness factors, but for God's sake, at least take a notice of what your child is watching and decide whether it is appropriate for his or her age!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. I mean, really, as far as music in general, if I actually listen to the lyrics of mainstream these days, I don't even like most of "today's" hit music. Everything is so dirty... whether it be the lyrics or subject matter of the songs. Like even watching music videos on disney channel and hearing what they are singing about, it just makes me feel like society is trying to make kids grow up way too fast these days.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree, sometimes I wish we didn't own a tv! I am so tired of the crap on tv shows, and in movies anymore. Even the PG movies that are supposedly for kids...
ReplyDeleteJoy,
ReplyDeleteThat is terrible. You probably don't even want to know this but the song your talking about is Take it off by: Kesha. It is horrible that young children can be exposed to that type of media. Artists shouldn't even have the courage to sing about these types of things, because a true artist will tell a story in their songs and have a good message and meaning behind the reason they've chose to write a song. There is no grace in that song because what the song is doing is sending a negative message to the people who have listened to it. I tottaly agree with you Joy and I am glad that you've now raised awareness on a cause you think is important because now something you think is important is now being shared with all of your fans. :)
Amen!
ReplyDeleteAlso, when did singing into one of those voice changing thingys (clearly I am not in the industry) equal a musician? If you can't truly sing...don't. Dancing nekkid isn't going to make your voice any better.
Love love LOVE this post. Just stumbled across your blog, never knew you had one! Now skimming through some of your posts, I respect you so much more than I already did! I have been a fan of yours since OTH practically started, but never hear or read anything about you in the tabloids (proof that you CAN have some privacy as a celebrity, if you so choose to!). So how refreshing it is to get a glimpse of your character in real life, apart from "Haley". I am super impressed and agree 100% with the words in this post. I'm not sure what has happened to class, but wherever it went, I am confident that YOU have managed to hold on to it. :-)
ReplyDeleteI agree with you 100%, I don't know where the class went and it's sad that we have to date back 20 years to find an abundance of it. Role models don't require much anymore but I'm glad you've been able to maintain some sort of class and sanity, I know I admire you for that and the substance you help bring to television.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you and I don't believe you sound like or are a prude or that you sound high and mighty.
ReplyDeleteI'm so tired of seeing 17 year old (now 18 yr old) pop stars rolling around a bed in their underwear in their music video. I'm tired of hearing that underage girls have taken pictures of themselves in lingerie or of themselves naked and that the pictures have been leaked online. I'm tired of seeing women on reality tv shows falling down drunk, hooking up with random guys and flashing their private parts on national tv. Quite frankly I'm also tired of seeing college cheerleaders performing in tiny tops and skirts when the male cheerleaders on the same squad are wearing pants or long shorts and t-shirts.
Women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful and should be celebrated. They should be celebrated for who they are. For their athleticism, their creativity, their intelligence. As well as for their strength and beliefs.
I know what its like to have people see you for just your looks and its insulting.
I'm sorry that I got a little bit off topic. As you can see I feel strongly about this subject.
Thank you for posting this article and having a forum for women and men to discuss this topic. Its refreshing to hear that others feel as strongly as I do. :)
Thank you Bethany!
THANK YOU!!! I'm happy to be in whatever prude club you would like to start! The things that are shown on TV (and movies) and played on the radio are completely out of control. I'm only 32, but I can't believe how much things have changed since I was a teenager. It scares me to think of how much worse things will get as my kids grow up. I have daughters who are 5 and 3, I pray I can instill a sense of self-confidence/worth that will stay with them as they try to navigate the world that they are growing up in. That goes for my boys who are 5 and 2 also.
ReplyDeleteI hope and pray that things will change, but I think it will only get worse. Look at all these horrible "role models" who are famous for simply being famous. It's ridiculous and sadly, people are so desensitized that it doesn't seem to phase anyone.
Thank you for standing up and voicing your opinion! Thank you for being willing to speak up and thank you for doing and AMAZING job playing someone who my girls can look up to. (Not that they are old enough to watch OTH yet.) Congrats on the new baby!
Amen. I feel the same way! Thanks for bringing attention to this!
ReplyDeleteThanks for standing up for what you believe in. I am so impressed. You have a huge following and so many young girls that look up to you and you're not afraid to call out these ridiculous "pop" stars.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being a stunning role model for young women, like myself. This is very well said, with such passion and truth. We desperately need role models, women waging war against being objectified. What happened to our strong women? We need to be encouraged my strong, confident women! Our influences shouldn't be entertaining a male audience. We shouldn't have to act as if we're luring in prey in order to find love. We shouldn't have to pull up our already-mini skirts to get attention. What happened to natural beauty and strong women? We need to pull up our pant-legs and wage war. If we don't, then what good have the past years of fighting women been for?
ReplyDeleteI have watched you on OTH since day one, but I just today discovered your blog! I love it and so much enjoy reading it. I just have to share, I have a 4 year old daughter and this post really struck a chord with me. I wrote on my own blog today about this same subject, inspired by you! Of course my blog is just mostly read by my family and friends, I would love it if you would check out my recent post. Thanks for sharing your blog! Mine is http://savingsarahssanity.wordpress.com/2011/04/04/excuse-me-miss-i-think-you-forgot-to-put-pants-on/
ReplyDeleteWell, this really isn't like me! Two comments, now...but, I just had to thank you. Thank you for saying what you said, and for standing up for what you believe in. I appreciate it so much that this post actually brought tears to my eyes...thank you. Not very many people can stand up for what they know is right. So many people confuse vulgarity with "exploring their sexuality" when it's just not so. One of my favorite quotes is, "Wrong is still wrong, and right is still right, no matter how cleverly cloaked in political correctness." There is beauty in class and grace, and I love that you had the balls to say that so publicly. You are one of those celebrities I am just fine with my children liking. Thank you for being that kind of person. God bless you and your family, Joy.
ReplyDeleteI am 18 years old, which is the major age here in Sweden. I'm an adult in other words. But I certainly don't feel like one. Adult to me is what you all have discussed. This bizzare world where you as a women can reach success only when showing some skin. That's how my world looks like. You're supposed to hate school and all you'd want to do are having sex, dressing like a whore, party and desiring for boys. That's what the entire soceity values. That's cool.
ReplyDeleteI've, for so long, tried not to want that. To believe it's wrong.
Then I started watching this TV-show. One of the leading actress really spoke to me. She's beautiful and sang marvellous songs. So I figured her name out (Bethany Joy Lenz) and watched hours of interwievs with her and listened hours of songs made by her. She became one of my favourites. Then I ended up here this night. I devoered this site until this came up. Now you, Joy, are my truly role model. And everybody else who has posted a comment here. It makes me soooo happy to know I'm not alone thinking like this. Beautiful hasn't got to be sexy. And sexy hasn't got to be sluttish. Now I'll not feel like a mother when telling my friends to bottom up a bottem on their shirts.
Okay, it's late here on the other side of the globe and I'm really tired so I don't know if I managed to convey my message. The point is, I was thrilled reading this text and its following comments. I daily struggle to love myself for who I am and not for how far I've reached the girls' ideal image. So thank you. Now I got power to struggle this wicked insustry, one inspiring blog to frequently read and a role model I'll tell my friends about!! Good Night! And thank's again.
P.S. I really hope there's no or only a few minor mistakes in the text. I never use to comment. I've never done it in english before, it isn't my best school subject. But watching OTH has really helped! ;) D.S.
Best Regards, Sandra
Seriously, I'm not joking, but I am so surprised, delighted and shocked that such a famous person like you. Stands for what she thinks and that you find things that you do not expect of celebrities.
ReplyDeleteI have followed your blog for about 4 days. I did not know who you were until after I checked in all OTH seasons and started looking info about you and found your blog thanks to twitter, where I also follow you.
It's really a shame that the Swedish celebrities are not as open as you and I sincerely hope that the things you have to say comes out cause you have really strong words and fantastic arguments, you can't not agree with.
I keep my fingers crossed for you and hope you continue with your articles, even though it takes a little longer for me to read.
You have been a great inspiration source in recent days. Thanks!
Hope you read this comment, even though this content was written a while ago...